PROS AND CONS OF MOVING IN TOGETHER

‘Should I sleep at your place tonight or you prefer to come to mine’ is the conflict every couple in a healthy relationship faces. How to deal with this issue?

The first thing that comes to mind is jumping to the next level of the relationship, that is if your relationship is not just a flirt. Is it a big step? YES. Does it have its pros and cons? Like any other decision, YES. But is it a closer step to marriage? Also YES, generally speaking.

Some couples, from past experience, advise you to try living with each other under one roof for a certain period of time before marriage. They wished they had this privilege before tying the knot … they are now divorced.

Before taking this big step, read the following pros and cons, it might lead you to new things you haven’t thought about before.

So, marriage or breakup? Decide for yourself.

PROS:

• Moving in together teaches you a lot about each other, especially when it comes to daily rhythm – Long showers, maybe skipping shower day!
• You will have someone you trust to vent to – who is neither your mother nor your sister.
• This inner feeling of “I miss you” and “wish I can lie next to you” is now fulfilled. You’ll be together – unless you prefer conquering the bed horizontally.
• You will save money when it comes to rent and other housing expenses – Let’s just hope he doesn’t turn out to be stingy.

• You will have someone to take care of you when you’re sick – who doesn’t need some attention in such moments!
• Are you or are you not compatible with your partner? This will save you the disappointment of any undesired habit – The toilet seat is one, occupying the restroom for a long period of time is another. Taking the blanket for yourself … that’s another level.
• When your/their parents visit, you’ll be living with them for a short while, so you’ll get to know them better by spending not only the days together, but also the nights – Cross fingers his mother is not the possessive mother-in-law type.
• Trust will be stronger – Remember, you’re living with the guy.
• Grocery shopping will be more fun. Since you’re now sharing the same house, shopping for food and other households can be done as a team work – Let’s hope he won’t touch the daily routine food.

• Your selfish self can’t kick off when you live together. This is one way to experience the degree of selfishness in your partner when you co-habit – I mean who isn’t selfish at some point! But are you willing to tolerate it?
• You get to spend some quality time with your partner, this will strengthen your bond – Cooking together, breakfast together, endless nights together.
• It either boosts your sex life or the truth shall be revealed – Let’s cross fingers.
• Bye bye marriage stress. You’ll be skipping the exhausting part of moving your stuff from your house to your shared home – and you will get the help you need without asking for it, it’s his house too so he’d better lend a hand.
• Coming home after a long day knowing that someone is waiting for you is far more exciting than coming to a lonely home – unless he’s a real messer and not a good cook.

• He doesn’t have to leave after a long movie night – but that doesn’t mean that he can fall asleep on the couch the minute the movie begins!
• When it comes to house chores, you can now share it with someone else i.e. your cohabitor – skipping the part where you fight over his clothes lying on the floor, or who’s turn is it today to wash the dishes.
• You can’t avoid making out after a fight – make-up sex is the best… of course when he finally confesses his mistake, or else, forget it.
• If you don’t feel you’re in the right place, breakup is easier if there are still no strings attached … at least legally – no papers, no family, no lawyers, no additional expenses… No fuss.

CONS:

• You now have to share your wardrobe. Women are greedy when it comes to wardrobes. Let’s be reasonable, the more cabinets the merrier the woman is.
• You can’t watch your favorite show anytime. We all know the love story between men and the TV remote control.
• Whether you like it or not, one of you will be the “cleaner” and the other “the messer”.
• If you’re not living together, the fight can last longer and things might get colder between you two if you’re both stubborn.
• There’s no “alone time” anymore unless you talk about it before moving in together.
• You may not guarantee finding your favorite food that you kept in the fridge for the next day.

• You can easily opt out, after all the time and effort you put from your life time.
• You need to find a way to convince your family about the idea. It is still uncanny in some cultures.
• It might degrade the concept of marriage and delay it.
• Sharing responsibilities involving money might affect your relationship negatively. This is one of the major reasons that kill the “flame” in a marriage.
• You may get bored. Remember, dating is seeing each other occasionally.
• Who’s going to take what, especially if you paid half of everything – If you wake up one day and realize you made a mistake, who will take what; the television is not yours, the iron machine is mine, my mother got us the kitchen towels, your mother didn’t get anything for our home, you got the cupboard, I paid half … it never ends.

One advice I can give you from my experience; since there are no strings attached in cohabitation, even if you’re sure love exists between you two – and I’m sure you don’t like to mention material matters at that point – consider each one of you getting households separately, and not paying half for everything. This way, if you wake one day and realize that you made the wrong decision of sharing your home with him (and vice versa), you can be fair and take whatever you paid for.

Now, to move in or not to move in together, that is YOUR question and YOUR decision. Choose wisely!